My new normal

I had a old normal and middle normal and now I have my new normal. Mind you I love my old normal it just isn't me anymore. I used to be the happy go lucky always see the positive side of the dark cloud. Than the worst thing that could happen during a pregnancy happened I miscarried one of my babies. I now have a new normal I now have a new level of sadness and a new level of self worth. My new normal is taking care of my daughter knowing I could be taking care of two my new normal is watching my daughter hit mile stones and knowing their should be another baby (my son) also hitting thoes same mile stones with her. My new normal is looking away when I see twins because it hurts my heart to know I should have twins and don't. My new normal is by passing the stroller isle in babies r us with the twin strollers. My new normal sucks. But it's me it's my life feeling the loss of my child every day while holding on to my daughter is my new normal. My daughter and my husband are the things that get me going my son is the reason for my tear that I don't cry. My new normal is polar opposite of my old normal and slightly different than my middle normal. My middle normal was being able to say his name and not wanna rip out my heart. My middle normal I could still go down every isle in babies r us. My middle normal I even thought about letting Selene wear her thing two onzie that someone one had bought her. But now with my new normal I can't do that. It hurts to much. This is me and my new normal.