Feeling left....... Alone

So lately with the birth of my daughter and the loss of my son I have been feeling left out and alone in the wood work. Now that's not to say I haven't had people being supportive and welcoming and loving i have, however i also have been left out many people think that just because i suffered a loss meant i didn't want his name mentioned and they rarely talked about the daughter still growing inside of me. I was broken and days i still feel broken but I'm trying to help myself I'm getting my feelings out their because i don't care what you think about it. i lost my son my daughter lost a brother my husband lost a son! And guess what we as a family will always remember him we will always tell our kids how their was supposed to be one more but we lost one. Now after I've given birth i have lost what little friends i did have because i can no longer just up and go i have to pack for a little one possibly feed her before i leave. And most don't like having to wait, I'm OK i have the few friends that i know will always be their. I have my husband who will move hell and earth to make me smile laugh and have a good time and i love him for that. Last night we had a get together at our house a small BBQ, with a few close friends and let me tell you i haven't been that happy sense my daughter was born and before that was when i was married (which was a month and a half before i lost my son). I will remember last night with a fondness because i smiled laughed and felt genuinely good inside. I am starting a touting job this up coming week on Tuesdays and Thursdays and i know the extra 80 a week will help with everything and i love that I'm helping again or i will be i plan on getting my husband his Christmas present because we didn't have money in December to have Christmas i plan on it now. and if he gets on at this new job we can finally start living our life and doing things for us. Hopefully we can save enough to rent a house or apartment. Here's hoping right? Well we will see soon they are hiring in February so i guess its all waiting now right? well for once i am ending this on a happy note. i feel asleep happy woke up happy and am not crying through my writing so that is a plus right? :) thank you for reading for those waiting on your rainbow babies here's some baby dust for those that have them ill get on sending you some color for those grays :) <3